Dwindling Love
by blu3crush
Summary: (Completed) - Sara begins to doubt their marriage when Grissom cuts her off from his life.
1. Chapter 1

Before you read on, I need to warn that this isn't any conventional GSR stories I normally write. It is borderline sad. I have not been writing a couple of weeks – been busy at work – and I apologize for my absence. This just comes to my mind and I need to write it out before getting my muse back on my other stories. Hope you enjoy it still.

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**Dwindling Love**

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Their marriage was unique. Unlike most married couple who needed to be in each other's sight to remind them they loved each other and being faithful, they were different. Both had absolute trust for each other. They could function as individual. They need not be to be physically together to get their marriage working. They were able to connect mentally and they were satisfied with the long distance relationship arrangement. They both thought that nothing could shatter their foundation. Their foundation was rock solid and they could handle this aspect of the marriage.

Sara had always believed in her marriage. Their marriage just worked, regardless of others had commented. Greg told her she needed Grissom back in her life, both physically and mentally. Grissom needed to be back to give her support after what happened in Frank Diner. Her mother-in-law told her blatantly that for a marriage to work, they had to connect physically and intimately. She tended to disagree with Betty. Grissom and she had a great and healthy sex life when he was back in Vegas or she went to visit him in wherever he was in. They made love and it was not just plain ol' meaningless sex.

However, lately, she could not remember when the last time they made love to each other was. He was too busy to take a few days off to visit her in Vegas. She could not go to his campsite because the place he was in now needed visas and extensive clearance. He could not bring his phone with him when he was at work. When she called, his voicemail greeted her and she could memorize his voicemail message word-to-word. She understood that he was busy and could not always be a phone call away but she resented that he did not give her a call back when he was resting. Picking up his phone and dialing her number was not difficult or time consuming.

She did not know when they started having problems.

Perhaps it started when they left Costa Rica and travelled to Paris. He was a famous, highly respected entomologist and he did not have problems in finding a job. University professor openings, research lab and book deals were readily available. He decided to take out the guest lecturer opening and adapted easily. She was unknown outside of Las Vegas Crime Lab and could not find a job in Paris. She lost her identity and footing when they came to Paris. She was Grissom's wife and that what she was only. She cooked for him, breakfast and dinner, washed his laundry and cleaned their small apartment. She turned into a domestic goddess who watched Martha Stewart on cable. But she was happy being just Grissom's wife. Cooking for Grissom became part of her. It was her hobby until she got bored with the routine. Her workaholic nature started to bother her. She wanted to work but could not find one without appropriate permits and her French was not fluent. She could manage a simple conversation and that was it.

When Ecklie called, she was baking chocolate chips cookies for Grissom and his colleagues and she just jumped at the chance when Ecklie needed replacement for the Crime Lab. She was sick of baking, cooking and being Grissom's virtuous wife. She wanted to be herself again.

When he returned to their home, he seemed to be able to detect something changed in their home. She did not know how to tell him she was going to leave him and back to Vegas. She was the one who left Vegas, citing Vegas was too bleak for her, leaving her unable to breathe. He came for her, shortly after Warrick's death. She was excited, exhilarated and happy to see him in the rainforest without nothing but a duffel bag and a GPS. She knew Warrick's death prompted him to leave Las Vegas. Park's case was what sealed his decision. Although the reason of why he left was never about her, she was still happy. She willingly overlooked the fact that he treated her as a backup plan. She loved him too much to mind.

They had their first huge couple fight after she told him about her decision. They said hurtful things to each other. They cried, screamed and fought. He could not understand why she needed to go back to Vegas when she was the one who ran away from there first. She yelled at him for not being able to see she was losing her identity. She was not Sara Sidle in Paris. She was Mrs. Grissom, Grissom's wife. That was it.

That night they slept on the same bed but the distance between them was huge, like there was an amazon river between them. He never cuddled her and she slept with her back facing him. The next few days before she due to return to Vegas were spent in silence.

He worked late, taking a few more projects under his wings and decided that his office was his home. He came home to get fresh clothing and never gave her a second look. Her pride stopped her from apologizing. She stopped cooking, cleaning and being domestic. She prepped herself for returning to the lab, deciding on a comfortable story to tell her friends in the lab and even prepared for the ultimate divorce.

She was sitting in lime green sofa they chose, a forensic magazine on her lap and drinking a glass of red wine when he walked into the living room drunkenly. She could smell the alcohol on him. She looked up and met his sad gaze. Momentarily, she was guilty about leaving Paris, leaving their home and leaving him.

She remembered their conversations vividly.

"Do you have to go?" he asked, or rather slurred. Alcohol had impaired his senses and ability to talk sensibly.

"Gil, I have to. I am losing myself here." She chucked the magazine aside and walked over to him, her palm splayed across his heart. She felt his heart beating and her heart wrenched. They were both so far apart. They came so far to be together but this might break them apart. He captured her hands with his and lifted her chin up.

"I love you." He loved her. He really did. She might not know that because he was never one who put love on his mouth. He showed it through his actions. Every morning, he would wake up a little earlier and brewed her favorite coffee. He ordered America newspapers for her and paid for the expansive channels on cable for her. He built their library, filling it with rows and rows of science related books. He hoped that she could spend her afternoon reading and watching television, far away from the hideous crimes in Vegas that left her with no breathing place.

"Gil," her voice was soft and tender. Wrapping her arms around his mid-section, her head cradled against his chest, she searched for his heartbeats. They were soothing and it always did its job of lulling her to sleep whenever she had nightmares. He raked his finger through her dark chocolate curls, stroking her head and pulled her nearer. "Please don't go." He begged. Begging was a first for him. He never begged for anything in life. This was the first time he felt he was going to lose something very precious to him and he could not afford it.

He bent down slightly, placing his lips against her soft lips and nibbled them gently. His hands snaked under her blouse, unclasped her cotton bra and pushed them out his way. He stroked the curve of her breasts tenderly, his thumbs brushing the hardening buds. She trembled and moaned softly.

"No, Gil. We need to talk."

He ignored her pleads, and rolled her nipples between his thumb and forefinger. He wanted to connect with her, both physically and intimately. He did not want to talk, fearing he would lose her. He knew this was manipulative of his part but he had to do it.

"Gil," she pushed him away with both of her hands, and crouched at a corner, gasping for breaths. Her tears rolled down her cheeks despite her best effort to contain them. This Gil Grissom standing in front of her was not the husband she married or knew. He was drunk, reeking of alcohol. He reminded of her father now and she was afraid.

"I am sorry." He squatted next to her, his hands hovering in the air hesitantly.

"Gil, can you please understand?" she cowered in fear as his hands moved down to caress her hairs. He nodded. He knew she was losing herself in this beautiful city and she was tired of not being herself.

"I can go back with you," he offered. Although he did not want to leave Paris and returned to Las Vegas but he wanted to be with his wife. They had been married for less than 6 months and any healthy couple would have to stay together to get their marriage working.

She shook her head gently, and smiled weakly. "No, you're happier here. We can make it work." She grasped his hand tightly in hers and kissed his cheeks. That night, they cuddled and slept in each other's embrace. They chatted, shed tears and hugged each other. They did not think that having sex that night after a huge fight was correct. They talked about how long distance relationship could work. They had absolute trust and they loved each other too much to betray their marriage. Their marriage could work without being together physically.

Sara snapped out of her reverie and wiped the tears off with the back of her hands. What was happening to their marriage? She could not help but to ask. He was distant when he did call. Their conversations were short and punctuated with awkward silence. They did not know how to talk like they used to do in the past. They were drifting apart and neither wanted to admit.

Her love for him never wavered. She knew that she still loved him and wanted their relationship to work. But he had not been putting in efforts. He was oddly withdrawn and he seemed to be hiding something from her. She could not figure out what. The best part now was he totally cut himself from her. No phone calls. No video conferences. No emails. No letters. There were no updates from him. She called regularly, despite being routed to voicemails, she left messages for him. She poured her heart out into her emails and letters. Yet, there were no replies.

She could not figure out if he was still her husband. She looked down to gleaming gold strip around her ring finger and suddenly felt offended. She pulled it off and clutched firmly. She just could not hold on any longer, without knowing that he still love her.

She needed closure. She decided to let Fate to decide their destiny as a couple. If she was directed to the voicemail again, she would be sending him her ring and a simple note telling him she could not do it anymore. Long distance relationship really sucked. She knew that this might hurt and she might never have the chance to mend her heart but it was better than staying in Vegas and clinging onto faintest hopes. She hated being hung in the air and he knew that. The very least he could do for her now was letting her know where they were now.

She picked up her phone gingerly, and tapped the numbers she memorized at the back of head. She took in a deep breath and listened to the rings.

"Please Gil, pick up the damn phone." She prayed with her eyes closed.

The phone finally stopped ringing.

"This is Gil Grissom…"

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There will be a part on Gil if you all wanted – please let me know. Or I should leave you all hanging. Gil's part would have some explanation why he cuts Sara off.

There should be an update for Treacherous but I am still writing, editing and researching. I think it is a major chapter for Sara and I want it to be "perfect" before posting.

I will get my muse back soon, after all, it's xmas season.

I realize there are not many GSR stories these days. GSR writers, please continue writing GSR.

Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

Once again, another forewarn, this story is not fluffy at all. There is no fluff at all. I know that nowadays more and more gsr fictions of angst genre were popping up. As much as I want them to have a happily ever after ending but TPTB did not allow that. I apologize for the angsty journey that I make them go through.

If you don't like angst-ridden fiction, you should click on the 'back' button.

Don't take it as I hate GSR. I really like them together but I also liked writing angst fictions.

Hope you enjoy. =)

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**Dwindling Love Deux.**

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In his whole life, Gilbert Grissom was never a person who made mistakes, bad decisions or regretted his choice. But there was always an exception. The exception was his wife, his love and his soul mate, Sara Sidle. He had made some great mistakes when it came to Sara.

He pushed her to have a life and she did. However, she had her heart badly broken when that EMT, Hank, two-timed her. He remembered her swollen eyes a few days after they broke up. Sometimes when he passed by her favorite spot in the lab, her secret place in the lab, he heard crying. He had wanted to reach out for her, comfort her and hold her in his arms. But it was inappropriate for him to do that. There were rumors that he was showing favoritism and Sara did not get the position because of her abilities but because they were sleeping around. He became stricter with her, scrutinized her work and never praised her again. She yearned for his praises and acknowledgment that she would run to him every time she had a breakthrough. His response was always cold and nonchalant. He admitted to Brass he was a jerk for doing that but it was to protect her from rumors and gossips.

Then, it was calling her Honey after the lab explosion. He was frantic. He was going crazy when he heard about she passed by the DNA lab when it exploded. He went around searching for her. He let out a sigh of relief when he found her sitting at the pavement, dazed. The first thought that flashed past his mind was she was alive. He had never felt so relieved before. Without letting any words to pass by his brain for processing, he blurted out Honey. She gazed at him, surprised at his choice of word. She did not cry and did not want an EMT to take care of her. He knew that she wanted him to be her side but he chose to walk away when an EMT finally noticed her.

His cares and concerns led her on. She asked him out for a dinner, stating they could just try. He rejected her offer without much thought, telling her he would not know how to handle 'this'. Her face fell and turned gloomy. She walked away dejectedly when she told him she might not be there if he finally decided on how to handle 'that'. He almost wanted to grab her back and crush her into his embrace but his illness stopped him. He was turning deaf. He was going to be disabled and how could he be so selfish to drag her down and encumber her.

After his operation, he became withdrawn and rarely joked with his team. He chose to keep to himself and separate from them and especially Sara. A case shocked him. He was obsessed with Debbie's case. He let his imaginations ran wild. He thought of the worst. Sara was dead. Sara was kneeling on the bathroom floor, throat slashed. When they had the suspect in custody, he poured out his heart. He admitted to Dr Lurie he was in love with Sara Sidle but the love was not deep enough for him to sacrifice his career. Big mistake. It was one of his hugest mistakes he ever made. He confessed to a murderer and Sara unknowingly.

He noticed Sara's alcoholic breaths, bloodshot eyes and yoyo-like mood swings. He kept his mouth shut. As long as Sara's private life did not interfere with her work, he had no rights to meddle. She was just a subordinate and he was just a supervisor.

Yes, he ignored deliberately.

Until he had a wakeup call that very night, he recommended Nick for the promotion Sara wanted badly. The highway police called him, informing him a subordinate of his was driving under influence. He was so crushed when he saw her in that waiting room, head bowed low in shame and hands clasped together tightly. He grasped her hands in his, letting her know that he was here to support her. Giving her hopes was another blunder he committed.

He dashed her hopes when he asked Sofia out for dinner. Sofia was a very attractive woman. She was smart and pretty. She had keen eyes. He was attracted to her. He always had a thing for blondes. Sara avoided him after that, and kept a professional distance. It was as if she knew. Her eyes told him he had betrayed her trust. Just one week before his date with Sofia, Sara completely broke down in front of him, opening up to him about her traumatic childhood.

It was his fault when he left her alone in the nurse station. He had the biggest scare in his life. Adam Trent could kill her. He lost it that night, unable to hide his feelings any longer. He drove to her apartment that night. He remembered it was raining – heavy, torrential of rain. He was soaked when he pressed the doorbell. She answered with a groan. He could smell the whiskey on her. He kissed her hard. He suckled her lips. He pushed his tongue in to her mouth invasively. He pinned her down on her wall, stripped her and bit her neck hard, marking her as his. He fumbled with his zip, pushed apart her legs, and thrust into hard. She writhed, twisted and cursed beneath him. She let out a moan when he massaged her clitoris with his long, skillful finger. Her legs wrapped around his waist, willing him to thrust deeper. He felt alive when they connected. He stopped when both of them climaxed. He wiped away her tears when he saw her tearstained face and led her to her room. He held her close and confessed his love. She smiled and slept in his arms.

They had two years of happiness until Natalie Davis came along. Natalie robbed Sara of her smile, her trust and her bliss. Sara became cold, impassionate. Their distance grew. He desperately wanted the old Sara to be back. He proposed. She accepted. It was supposed to be wonderful and they should have their fairytale ending. Then another woman or rather a young girl spoiled everything. Hannah West haunted Sara. She played, manipulated and taunted Sara. Sara lost faith in whatever she did and left Vegas. He lost her and he buried himself deep in work. He lost track of time. He overworked himself. He became a ghost himself. He never wore a smile and his wrinkles became more pronounced. Catherine gave up on him. Warrick kept a distance. Nick and Greg blamed him for Sara's departure.

He honestly liked it that way. No one bothered him.

Warrick's death rendered him helpless. He sobbed like a child who lost his favorite teddy bear. Sara was there to comfort him. She returned to Vegas shortly, after learning about Warrick's death. He was thankful for her presence and grabbed on to her like she was his only lifeline. She was his piece of floating wood in the ocean. When he calmed down, he pushed her away with his words. He did not know why he chose to lock her out. Perhaps he was afraid of letdowns. He was afraid of getting hurt again. She left him with nothing but a letter on their bed. It was a simple letter with just two words – take care. She set him free but oddly, he felt being chained down by his heavy heart.

He went to Heather for advice. Heather saw through his ruse and encouraged him to go after Sara. He did. He resigned. He sold his townhouse. He gave Hank to Al. He sold most of his possessions, leaving a few memorable stuffs – Sara and his photos, and Sara's beloved jewelries - in a storage place. He went after her. He decided happiness was far more important than a job, which only reminded him of deaths and injustice.

They married in Costa Rica in a small white chapel. They were happy. They worked side to side. They explored the rainforest together. They huddled in the makeshift bed closely, reading Moby Dick. Things were well till the research project ended. He gave her a surprise by bringing her to Paris - the city of love. She expressed she wanted to go there for honeymoon. The rich culture and history attracted her.

It was supposed to be a short trip but he was offered a job. A job he could not resist. He accepted it and Sara stayed to be his wife. Initially, everything was peachy. Sara was pleased with her new role and he settled into his job. But he realized something was eating Sara out. He opted to overlook it. He decided to be oblivious.

They had a huge fight when she told him she accepted Conrad's offer. They said vile words to each other. He slammed their front door and shut her out for a week. He returned to their house one day before she flew back to Vegas. He tried to play foul. He seduced her with sex. She was rational and stopped him. They talked that night. He understood why she had to leave.

They made it work – long distance relationship. Mostly, she had done the visits, flying and planning. He never noticed the crestfallen looks when she had to leave or the weariness. She complained once about why she was the one who flew to him and not him to her. He shrugged, smiled and kissed her. He took it as she was just joking and she never brought it up again.

He thought that he would be back in Vegas after Peru. He wanted to surprise her and he wanted to settle down in one place. But, he was offered an once in a lifetime job opportunity. He had the chance to explore Terracotta Army. It always fascinated him and he just accepted it. He told Sara he would settle in Vegas after this project ended. There were too many mysteries. Sara told him to go ahead and gave him her supports.

It was the hugest mistake he ever made.

Visas cleared easily for him. He flew to China, highly anticipated.

When the guide introduced him to team, he was genuinely surprised to see a familiar face.

Terri Miller.

Terri was in the team too.

They bonded quickly. They were the only Americans there. They talked about their life. She was in a midst of a messy divorce. Her husband cheated on her. She shed tears and he placed his arms around her awkwardly. He consoled her and she burrowed into her chest.

It was that time when he drifted apart from Sara. They were not able to contact each other due to the bad reception at the campsite. His nights were her days and they kept missing each other's phone call. When they finally got through, their calls were dropped.

Terri seemed to notice the crack between Sara and his marriage. She invited him to her tent for a drink. Her friends sent her bottles of wines, and liquor. He gladly accepted out of loneliness. They drank and drank. They exhausted her supply of alcohols.

He was highly intoxicated when she climbed on top of him. She was frantic, pulling off his shirt. She teased him. Her kisses were feral and primal. When their bare skin touched, he allowed his primitive side to take control. She rode him hard. He collapsed after the last wave of climaxes rolled over him.

He woke up the next morning, with a terrible headache. The type of migraine he had when he burned out 6 years ago. It seemed that someone had taken a mallet and pounded his head hundred times.

Terri seemed unfazed about their nakedness and told him it was just a one-night stand.

"It's just my payback to that idiot." She winked. She trailed her fingertip up and down his soft shaft.

"Oh my gosh." He cursed and fumbled out of the bed. He dressed hurriedly and ran out of her tent.

He committed adultery. He betrayed Sara's trust. He was guilty. He did not know what to do. He could not bear hearing Sara's voice – the belief she had for him. He cut her off. He put her to his voicemail. He deleted her emails without reading. He kept her letters in a tin box. Once again, he kept his mind on work. He did not know how to tell Sara about his infidelity. He did not want to hurt Sara. He blamed himself for drinking and bonding with Terri. When Terri told him she was getting a divorce, he should have kept away. He did not. He was elated to see a friend. He delved in to a trap Terri weaved. He was just a convenient tool for her revenge.

Sara's phone calls, emails, letters did nothing to ease his guilt.

He was unable to face her.

It had been one month. He knew that Sara's patience was wearing thin. He knew Sara. It was just a matter of time before Sara gave up.

He did not know if he should pick up the phone the next time Sara called. Should he tell Sara the truth? But it was an mistake. He did not plan for this to happen. Catherine told him once that women did not like cheating husbands. If one ever cheated, and he still loved his wife, he should lie to her. He should weave an intricate web of lies.

Should he do that?

He had no idea at all. He was lost.

His phone buzzed into life. He looked at the caller ID. It was Sara.

The angel and demon in his mind were fighting.

'Tell her the truth and beg for forgiveness.'

'Lie to her and take it to your grave.'

He picked up the phone gingerly, battling with the struggles in his heart.

Biting his lips, he pressed on the connect button.

"This is Gil Grissom…" he spoke.

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Do you like it? I think you don't.

Let me know how you feel. Do you think Grissom will lie or tell the truth?

Please, just hold back the rotten eggs. It is still not the end yet. :P

I can't reply to your reviews if you're not signed in but thanks for the support and reviews. I really appreciated it.

_Apologies for any mistakes/spelling/grammars made. _

Thanks.


	3. Chapter 3

There you goes, a happy ending.

I actually plan more torment for them but decided not to. I'm in the festive moods and I don't wish to put my favorite couple into more angst.

But, if you like to read what I have plan in mind, do let me know! =)

Hope you enjoy!

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**Dwindling Love Trois**

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Grissom placed the last of his clothing into his trusted, battered green duffel bag and zipped it up. He smiled slightly when he pulled the photo of Sara and him off the small noticeboard. He caressed Sara's face and brought the photograph to his mouth. After he gently kissed the photograph, he placed it into his breast pocket. Swinging the duffel bag onto his shoulder, he surveyed the tent he had called home for the past few months. He laughed and realized this place was not his home at all. His home was where Sara was. He was finally on his way back.

"You're leaving." Terri entered Grissom's tent, her arms folded across her chest. Her tone was accusatory and her eyes filled with rage. She heard from the crew that Grissom leaving but she did not think that it was true until now. His tent was all cleared out and his passport and air tickets clutched tightly in his hands.

"Terri," Grissom turned to face her. "Why?" she asked, moving in to close the distance between them. "I am going home." He replied simply and stepped away. He wanted to keep a distance between them. He could not trust himself with her after the last time he lost control.

"Sara is expecting me."

Terri stared at him incredulously. "You told her about us?"

Grissom shook his head. He could not bring himself to tell Sara about his infidelity on the phone. She would freak out. He had to do that personally, face to face. He owed her an explanation. He did not want the poor reception to interrupt.

"There's no 'us' in the first place. It was a mistake. I was drunk and lonely. You saw the crack and took the chance for revenge." Grissom pointed out as a matter-of-factly. He believed that Terri was clinging onto him now for comfort and she did not want his marriage to work because hers failed.

"But," Terri grabbed hold of Grissom's hands, "you loved me." She did not want to be lonely again. Grissom pulled his hands away and shook his head. "No. I had a crush. Sara is the only one I love now."

"She will never forgive you." Terri spat angrily. Grissom smiled softly, "she will not forgive me easily but she will eventually. It is not going to be an easy journey. But I am sure Sara and I can make it through. Unlike your marriage, my marriage with Sara is solid. We had come a long way before we get together."

Terri clutched her fists tightly, controlling her urge of wanting to give Grissom a slap.

"Terri, let go of your hate." He ambled out of the tent without a second look. He was going home and he had absolute no attachment for this place.

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Hank was able to sense Sara's fluster and agitation as she paced around the small living room. He padded towards her and placed his paws on her feet. He licked her feet and looked up when he had her attention. She grinned when Hank gave her a broad charming smile. She bent down to rub the head between his ears.

"Gil said he's coming home." Sara plopped onto a sofa and beckoned Hank over. Hank hopped onto Sara's lap and rested his chin on Sara's shoulder. "But I am afraid. He said he had something to tell me. He sounded sad." Hank nuzzled Sara's neck and Sara hugged him closer. Hank was the only support she had now. She decided not to tell her extended family about Grissom and her problem. It was not that she did not trust them but she did not want them to jump into conclusions and choose side.

Their last phone conversation had been awkward. She had half expected to be directed to his voicemail again but was surprised when he picked up. After he said hi, there was a long pause. She had loads running in her mind but she could not form them into coherent sentences. She listened to his even breathing and bit her lips hard to prevent herself from crying.

He started talking first. He told her that they needed to talk which she agreed wholeheartedly. He cried and apologized for his absence and actions. When she heard his soft sobs, she broke down and cried together. He asked her to stop crying and he promised to return to Vegas. They needed to talk without interruptions.

"Hank."

Hank peered up and looked at Sara tenderly. "I am so afraid," she confessed. She had no idea when Grissom was coming back. After their last phone call, she did not have the courage to call again. He had called thrice but she was out in the field and did not manage to pick up. She did not know if she deliberately directed his call to voicemail or she simply missed the call. She just wanted to hold onto that he was coming home. She did not want her last hopes to be dashed.

She froze stiffly when she heard the door clicked open. No one had the keys to her apartment except for Grissom. She had not expected him to be back so soon. She was not prepared for his arrival. Her eyes were swollen and red. She was wearing her rumpled pajamas. She had worn the most unattractive pair of old granny underwear.

Hank jumped off the sofa and ran towards the door with his tail wedged between his legs. Hank barked happily, when he saw Grissom at the door. He chased his own tail and leaped onto Grissom. He licked Grissom face excitedly.

"Down boy," Grissom laughed and instructed Hank to get off him. Hank's excitement was rubbing on him. He instructed Hank to roll over and give Hank his favourite tummy rubs. When he stopped, Hank ran into the living room where Sara was.

Sara was trembling, shaking uncontrollably. Her tears fell down like broken beads. Grissom walked into the living room slowly and his heart wrenched when he saw his wife crying.

"Sara," he called out softly, did not want to startle her. He had wanted to tell her his arrival but he could not get her through phone. He was not sure if she had read his emails.

The sofa dipped when Grissom settled beside his wife, wrapped his arms around her. "What's wrong?" he asked gently, tugging her stray hair behind her ears and kissed the soft spot of her neck.

"You're back," she cried, and returned his hug. "Shh," Grissom coaxed lovingly.

"I am sorry. I don't know what went wrong with me." Sara pulled away and wiped away her tears. She did not know since when she had become a crybaby. She allowed Grissom to place her head onto his chest and stroke her hairs.

"I have something to tell you." Grissom bit his bottom lips so had that it bled.

"But before I confess, can you please promise me that you will listen calmly? I deserve every punch and kick but please know that I love you. I always do. Do you love me?"

Sara frowned but nodded. "I love you. Gil."

"Do you still trust me?" Grissom asked, and his embrace tightened. "I have always trusted you." Sara answered truthfully. She always had faith and trust in Grissom. Grissom was an honorable man and she knew she could trust him with her life.

"I am sorry," he kissed her forehead. He placed his index finger on her lips to stop her talking. He did not want her to interrupt. He was afraid the courage he built on the way home would dissipate into thin air. He was positive he did not tell her now he would live a life with Sara based on lies. He did not want that. He believed that marriage should not base on lies. When they married each other, they had promised there should be no lies.

"Terri Miller was in the research project. She told me she was in a messy divorce. She invited me to her tent and we had a few drinks. And, I," He paused when he felt Sara turned rigid. Sara gulped and pressed her hands over her ears. She did not want to hear what Grissom was going to say.

"Sara," Grissom pulled Sara's hands away. "Please."

Sara looked straight into his eyes. Her brown orbs dulled. "Please don't say you're leaving me." She pleaded. Terri and Grissom had a history. Grissom was attracted to her and they could have begun a relationship and married. If Grissom had not been obsessed with his work, Terri and Grissom would be together.

"I am not leaving you. Sara." Grissom was nervous now.

"What I am going to tell you is going to be heartbreaking but I am not going to leave you."

Sara lowered her head and shook her head. She did not want to know what Grissom had in mind. She wanted to hide. She broke free of Grissom's hug and ran into the bedroom. She locked the door and jumped into the bed.

"Gil, I don't want to know!" she shouted under the pillows.

"Sara, please!" Grissom tried the doorknob and found it was locked from the inside.

"I need to tell you this," Grissom yelled and pounded on the door frantically.

Her sobbing ceased, as she felt asleep from exhaustion. Grissom sat down on the floor, waiting for Sara to open the door. He had not expected this reaction from Sara. He should not have mentioned about Terri first. Terri, Julia and Heather had been their taboo topic. She did not want to know about his love and sexual history. If he had known that mentioning Terri would invoke such a strong reaction from Sara, he would have taken another approach.

He folded his knees under his chin and gave way to fatigue.

Sara woke up to a bad dream. She was drenched in cold sweat and trembling. She dreamt that Grissom came home and told her he was leaving her for Terri Miller. She shuddered as the fog lifted from her brain. It felt too real, too scary.

Sara opened the door slowly. Her jaws went slackened when she found Grissom sleeping outside their bedroom. "Gil," she squatted near Grissom, placing her hands on his hands.

"Sara," Grissom rasped hoarsely. He stretched his body and knees. He groaned painfully when he could not straighten his knees. Sara started to massage Grissom's legs. She felt guilty. She remembered shutting Grissom out of their bedroom. Grissom suffered from arthritis and he must in great pain.

"Sorry," Sara apologized, and helped Grissom up. He whimpered when his foot met the hardwood floor. Sara helped him into their bedroom and lay down on the bed. She ransacked the bedside table, looking for his capsaicin cream. When she found it, she rolled up his pants, spread the cream over his legs and massaged them.

"Feeling better?" she asked. Grissom nodded, and patted the empty space beside him.

"Can I continue?"

Sara sighed, "yes." If Grissom wanted to leave her, she had to face it and accept it. She moved nearer to Grissom, wanting to feel his warmth.

He cuddled her closer and picked up where he left of. "We drank in her tent. I was drunk after a few rounds." He stopped. He knew that what he was going to say was going to hurt. He wanted to minimize the pains for Sara.

"It was a moment of folly. I was lonely. When she kissed me, I responded. We had sex."

Grissom did not let go of his embrace. He pulled her closer and kissed the crown of her head.

Sara felt a dull pain at the back of her head. She stiffened when Grissom told her about his infidelity. He once told her sex without love was meaningless. So, sex with Terri meant something to him. She did not know how to respond. Her mind told her to hit, punch and kick him but she was too tired. She was exhausted. Perhaps it was her fault. She should not have left him alone in Paris. Every fault stemmed from her. She no longer had the ability to make Grissom happy.

"Grissom, let me go." This was the first time she called him by his last name after they married. It had always been Gil, Gilbert or Dear.

"I don't want to let go. Sara. It was a once-off mistake. I am sorry." He apologized, unwilling to relinquish her from his arms. "I love you."

"We can make this work again. We can see a marriage counselor. I am not leaving Vegas. This trip back is permanent."

Sara closed her eyes and stopped struggling. "I am tired. Grissom. I am so sick of this whole arrangement. I trusted you. I don't know if I can believe you again. Perhaps we should stop trying. You obviously don't love me anymore. When you had sex with Terri, did you think of me? No. You throw me at the back of your head. Terri made you happy. She pleasured you. She did my duties as a wife. Go to her."

She was weary of holding on and not knowing of the outcome. Grissom was an enigma and she realized sadly after so many years together, she had not seen through him. She did not know him at all.

"Please Sara. Give me another chance." He cried, begging for another chance. This was exactly he was afraid of. Sara gave up all hopes and decided to stop fighting for their marriage.

"I don't know." Sara shook her head, her heart heavy.

* * *

Dr. Clarke peered up from her half-moon spectacles, and smiled at the couple in front of her. Today was the last session for this couple. They had made small progress. The couple's hands were clasped firmly together. Their hips were joined together. They were on the verge of breaking up when they came to her. They were both worn-out and she could feel the wife hopelessness. Coming to her was their last resort. If therapy did not work, they decided to set each other free. But she could see the love radiating in their eyes and body language. She wanted to help them to repair their marriage.

"Dr. Grissom, how's the trip?" she asked, expecting a positive answer.

"Great," Grissom answered, a twinkle in his eyes. Sara confirmed his answer with a nod of her head.

"So… everything is fine now."

Sara shrugged, "it still takes time for me to rebuild the trust I once had for him but now everything is fine."

"We're sleeping on the same bed now." Grissom interjected, looking at his wife adoringly.

Before the start of the therapy, they had been sleeping in different room, on different bed. Sara felt weird having Grissom on the matrimony bed when he just slept with someone else. Grissom was grateful that Sara gave him another chance and did not mind the arrangement.

"So, how's the sex part?" Dr. Clarke mused thoughtfully.

Sara and Grissom grinned, "We're still working on that."

They wanted the sex to be meaningful and special. They did not want to rush into it and spoiled everything they had built thus far. They planned a two weeks Europe trip. They both agreed to take it slow.

"That's good. Have you both talked about children?"

Grissom squeezed Sara's hands and set his eyes on her, "letting nature takes it course. We're also thinking of foster kids too."

Dr. Clarke stood up and extended her French manicured hand towards them. "Treasure what you have. Don't ever let other things to sidetrack you from your marriage"

As they walked out of the building, a ray of sunshine shone on them, filling them with hope and love.

"Sara, I love you." Grissom whispered in her ears. Sara beamed blissfully.

"I love you too," Sara pressed her lips onto Grissom's soft lips and her arms snaked across Grissom's waist. Grissom pried open her mouth with his tongue and moaned into her when their tongue touched each other. He was glad. This was the first time Sara initiated an intimate act after his confession.

He would never place his work, his research over Sara now. His focus now was Sara and their home. The journey of regaining Sara's trust was not easy but they were reaching their goals slowly.

"Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins. **" Grissom kissed Sara again. "Thanks for forgiving."

They held each other's hands and walked down the bustling streets, enjoying the warm sunrays shining down on their body.

**(The End)**

* * *

** Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins. – Langdon Mitchell.

I did not want to make Grissom a cheating b*stard but I just think that this may be a direction the writers of CSI may go. I think they are exploring GSR in a different light. Sara is not happy with the arrangement and Grissom (sadly) is not doing anything. I just hope this new year, they will write something happier for GSR fans.

AA,

Yes, GSR forever. I love them too much to separate them. :D

Please let me know how you feel. :)


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